she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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