So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
