i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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