You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
