I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
i think i just lost a toe
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