If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I believe in your delicious
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
