god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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