Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
