OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
