I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
