ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm always down for nudity.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
