I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Are we still banned from the library?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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