he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
