this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
