Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
no you cant smoke seaweed
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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