wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
