Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
