We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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