there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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