yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
