That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
