I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
