I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
