I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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