My boss' voice literally gives me gas
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
