hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Randomize
