I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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