Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
