I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
