Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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