i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
i out mim tonsoeep
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