It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
My vagina is very pro this idea
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
