question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You were trust falling into bushes
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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