I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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