We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
