I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
