I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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