I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
