he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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