a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
