she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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