call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize