So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
do nipples grow back?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
