and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
