swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
