nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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