gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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