U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
