I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
