dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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