okay pat passed out under dana's car
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
whose parrot is this?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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