Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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