Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
