Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
