She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
