you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
