i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
