so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
