IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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