Plan B is the new Plan A
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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