It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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