Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
