Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
